As I grow, I value my true self more and more. I read and I get inspired. My world gets widened.
Despite the superficial relationships that modern people *including me* get themselves into, I learn that I'm not the only one and I don't have to be anything I'm not.
So I'm lazy but I go by the book at times. Those days, I loved getting my work done before it's time, I follow rules as not to get myself and others into troubles. JUst because that's not necessarily what others believe, I re-adjust my thinking. For the sake of fitting in. For the sake of not wanting to be made fun of. Because "skema" aint cool and I wanted to be cool.
I miss the original me.
I have changed. The changes flatter me, the changes make me feel like a poser. How I envy those who are very much themselves. I appreciate my solitary moments but I hate being seen as a loner. Ironic! There are days when I hope they have gone to work earlier so I can be myself, I can be with me, eating what I like, playing my music that they find alien. There are moments when I walk back to the office hoping to have just the furniture and the stationery welcoming me back. Deep inside I'm a happy loner. Just that I've never said it
Now that I've gathered the courage to admit it, they never believe me.
And I feel funny having to justify myself so hard. So I stop and let it be
No comments:
Post a Comment