Days back, I wrote something terrible to my favourite author.
It started as nothing more than a silly fan wish of not wanting him to make it big. So big that he wont have time for random talks over coffee and such. As I wrote that, I was not even upset that he will be more and more unreachable.
But I guess he replied with sincerity and asking to understand that he needs to reach the top to accomplish his mission which is probably more significant than my silly frustration. Heck. I was not even frustrated yet he tried to mitigate my bitterness. Oh I must've sounded really upset.
Today, I went through his stuffs again. It's become my daily fix. Then, I came across his struggle in publishing his first book. Man, this guy has worked his ass off and I simply asked him to not make it that big. He could've been hurt by my words. He was probably cursing me but he suppressed it in his reply. If really, he did, that's understandable.
I'm also working on something that should have finished two years ago. It's a bumpy ride, making me start to feel useless. Still, this is probably not as hard as what he was working on. When I'll be done with it and some stranger says to my face how he wishes I wouldnt have accomplished my mission, that would feel like a knife slicing my body.
I shouldn't have hit the "send".
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