I found a letter

It was from you, the very first batch of my brats. You were infatuated. By me. By me having the same interests with her.


Morita, I still remember that name. And I still remember his character. We were like shy shy teenyboppers expressing how we were so into Morita. I could tell how excited you were, how you wanted to just spend the whole 1 hour talking about anime and specifically Morita but the eyes thwarted that and we didn't really know each other and so you and I just shied away..It was exciting, in an awkward way. You're right, not many of our species would choose to waste the time sharing our infatuation towards fictitiously non-existent dorks. They rather swoon at the thought of some narcissists. I do enjoy those nonsensical stuffs too but I get bored of them easily


I wish I could tell you, the writer of the letter, that I too was astounded with the first impression that you displayed. You spoke out things that I had no courage to blurt it all out. You are quiet yet smart. As I went back home that day, the very first time I talked to you, the thought of you lingered.

Where are you now? Hopefully you found some other anime-freaks to go crazy with.


And I wonder if you still have the same image of me as you did 3 years back. I have changed but am not very different. I'm no longer afraid of differences between people. And I wish you the same too

Burden taken off my chest

Aahh...Its just relieving to know that someone feels the same, share the same view. And its their own feelings, they are so real about it. Makes me relieved to know I was not making things up, not being overly sensitive.

I'm clingy and I'm jealous of...

I hate to use that J word. I really feel like talking bout it with someone. I want to let it out. I've tried but it's never easy. Its so not cool to be like this I know. Its irritating to her I know. Last time, its still acceptable. I was younger. This time makes no sense. I'm a grown up. SOmehow, I keep doing it. Karma. I once neglected her for someone else. Now I have to endure the pain of being in jealous sea

when i'm not in a good mood...

...I just need to look at a guy who is a leftie

I'm cheery again

trust the first plan

i never ask ur opinion. ok i admit, this only shows how insecure i can be sometimes. if i really dont care, i wouldnt get mad in the first place. or is it cuz i was irritated?

I should've done it alone. At peace, at my own pace, my own taste

the food was great...

...with all the ingredients that perked up my taste buds. And tears almost dropped. The painful pain was screaming inside, watching his trembling hands spooning slowly tho greedily the meal in. I couldnt finish my meal, I gave half of mine to him. He didn't say no. I was afraid that the sweet poison in the food would mess with his sleep, that his legs would get cranky but he seemed to really enjoy it and i ended up offering the stuffs that would damage his health more. I hope it didnt.

Its difficult to swallow that this man is old. I rarely talk to him and now he's old. Their relationship got a lot better and I should be happy. Its weird. I am happy. Happily sad

As I was driving back, listening to some kpop craps, I felt that sharp pain again. It was jerking my tears out. For no reason I really felt like crying a lot. And now I'm worried that I might get the call again. The same call last Ramadhan and the same call 12yrs ago

wishes

I hope I wont feel awkward around them
I hope I wont feel fake
I hope it'd be hell lot of fun
I hope I don't gain weight
I hope the food won't go wasted
I hope I won't cry too much
I hope all my work will be done
I hope the one week off could be extended
I hope I'd enjoy Hari Raya as much as I did when I was younger