It has been a few days, I'm doing fine. Not entirely ok but definitely better. i guess that was a breaking point. Decisions made, lessons learnt. As we grow wrinkles and hair's thinning and memory's getting bad, there's no way we could keep us the way we used to. I've learnt the price of getting too emotionally attached. It's bad. Had I given room for insanity, trying so much to justify myself, to get what I think I deserve, I could've lost it. I believe I've admitted my wrongs and I was sincere doing that, and so I would let go of the things that I should've had but didn't.
Right now, I just wanna live in peace, laugh heartily again...And I've had fun with new mates. To say that I don't make friends, that's hasty. I might not get instantly warm and chummy but I still enjoy smiling. I don't immediately consider them to be important to me but I still enjoy having fun with them. Chewing gum is fun and sugary but after some time, it's bland and less exciting you wanna spit it out. I hope that's not what I'm gonna do. I still wanna chew and keep it. For that, the gum has to mean a lot first.
It's ok now, I could swallow the views that I couldn't stand. The damage is done so I might not care as much as I used to and that heals me faster. I would spend more time writing on the vanilla-coloured papers. Perhaps, a cup of tea and a slice of cake would be good companions to my recycled book. Wahhh...Just like what they do on tv. But yeah, I wanna do that, me and the inanimate companions. Katie said it doesn't have to be the habitual, random things work too. Arigatou ne Katie chan. And chingu also ^_^
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